What is the healing process?
The healing process occurs when dealing with past trauma. It is not a simple process, nor is it easy to get started.
With the increase in mental health awareness on social media, and in workplaces, the healing process is becoming more and more known.
Alternative healing, such as Reiki, naturopathy, and reading self-improvement books are more mainstream because of this.
Why is Healing Important?
The healing process is important in order to align with the purpose the universe has in store.
It may sound hyper-spiritual and metaphysical, and truthfully, it is.
Holding on to negative experiences is harmful to your mind, body, and soul.
It’s proven through physiotherapy that thoughts and experiences are linked to neurone activity.
Even hearing an argument can tense your muscles and prevent neurons from firing correctly.
How to Begin the Healing Process
I believe there is no correct way to begin the healing process, as everyone is different.
As a Reiki practitioner, I can recommend talking about it, getting excited about the future, changing your perspective, and writing.
1. Talk About It
If something really terrible happened to you, and you hold that pain, fear, and shame inside for 10 years, 20 years, or even 30 years, imagine the amount of tension, and angst holding inside your body.
That’s negative energy you’re holding inside your muscles. Negative energy is circulating and growing new cells for you. These cells are now made of tension, angst, and shame.
The healing process is meant to get those emotions and negative energy out of your body, in order to allow natural healing to occur for your mindset, energy, and soul path.
2. Look Forward, Not Backward
This one is easy to say, hard to practice.
The thing I’ve found, is to get excited about the future! We’re entering a new decade! The time to start planning where you want to be in 2030 is NOW!
Want to know what my future looks like?
I’ll have three kids, a boy and twin girls, two dogs, Leo needs a friend, and I want a female dog. My blog will be an online business, and philosophy will be the thing that everyone wants to learn! It is already the key to success for me.
I have goals that go beyond this, but family is everything to me, so creating that image in my future of marriage, family, and unconditional love is vital to pushing me forward.
The healing process gets you from the shadowy place of self doubt, and into the dimension of future joy, future success, and future achievements.
Why is it easier said than done?
Because the healing process starts by acknowledging and facing the things that we never want to face again.
Before I turned 16, my mom had a smoking habit. I hated it because I have a special bond with my mom, we’re very similar, and would spend a lot of time together, so worrying about her future health was something I did. The rest of my family seemed passive about it, but I was distraught. I confronted her and asked her to quit before my 16th birthday, and she agreed to it.
The day after my 16th birthday, I let my dog out to use the bathroom, not sure to this day, why I let her out the front door, instead of the back.
Doesn’t she run across the street, into my neighbours backyard, where my mom is smoking with my neighbour.
As a newly 16 year old, I was devastated! There is nothing worse at 16 than having a parent who cannot follow through on their promises.
Lesson Learned
This experience led to a lot of distrust with my mom. When I caught her, I was in tears, I was so upset with her for making this choice instead of dedicating her energy to something she promised me, her daughter.
I remember grabbing my dog and ran into the house, hoping she’d chase me, and try and comfort me, but she didn’t.
That led to feelings of abandonment and insecurity.
For the next 8 years, I would continue to have these feelings affect relationships with many many people in my life.
I spent 4 years in an emotionally abusive and toxic relationship because I cared more about the other person than myself.
It’s hard, to acknowledge that these experiences happened, and that forgiving my mom, for something that was beyond her, an addiction, is necessary to my own healing.
Even harder still, to forgive myself, for putting myself through the experiences that came after this one.
The healing process is not perfect, but neither is life.
3. Perspective is Everything
Change the way you see things, and things will change – Wayne Dyer.
Perspective, is everything.
I know, it’s in my blog header, and I like to say that philosophy is everything. But the opportunities I’ve had recently have allowed me to start understanding why philosophy is so important to me.
I’ve been teaching a literacy course, and constantly talk about philosophy. So I asked my student, what have you learned so far? And their response made me laugh.
“I’ve learned about philosophy”
It speaks to the way I teach that this is what their answer was!
What does perspective have to do with the healing process?
The situation I described above, about my mom when I was 16.
Well, 16 year old Kristina thought she was being caring, concerned, and loving by expecting the result of a mom who cared enough to quit smoking for her.
But that expectation is way too high.
Perspective occurs when you’re dealing with the situations that have altered your inner self, and can finally look at them with forgiveness, kindness, love, and take a lesson from them.
I also abused myself when it comes to sex, always thinking that no one ever wanted me.
I had to shift my perspective and remind myself that if I’m acting like I’m not worth having, being interested in a quick thing; then I’m projecting that outward, and the commitment I’m longing for won’t come.
Perspective is a personal thing.
A reflection of who you are, what you’ve been through, and what you were taught.
It means, that the healing process cannot be forced onto someone who is not ready.
Openness, and willingness are required for the healing process to begin.
4. Write It Out
There have been times where I think I’ve done the healing I need to, but then something happens and the Universe is testing me, and I have to handle myself in a situation where I’ve had past trauma.
It’s funny to me that write it out is one of my suggestions, as a blogger, writing has helped me more than I can ever put into words on this page.
I’ve always written in a journal, I think I learned it at camp, or someone suggested it to me.
But whenever something stressful happened, that would make me cry, angry, or frustrated, I would write about it.
As a result I have multiple journals that are half full from my teenage experiences. I have personal accounts of fights I had with friends and how that fight ended our friendship.
I’ve also found that writing is like talking to yourself, through your own thoughts, and I’d often fight with myself about relationships, and who I was dating.
Re-reading these journals is difficult, but it also allows me to see the experiences as stories.
The Healing Process is Different for Everyone
The healing process is not something that you can finish, and get a certificate for. It’s a constant journey into self-reflection and self-awareness.
Honestly, if I weren’t a philosopher, I would not be self-aware, or good at self-reflection.
I’ve found, in the last 8 years, that philosophy has saved my life.
Philosophy saved me as a teacher, it saved me from abusive relationships.
It has saved me by helping me forgive myself and others.
Again, the healing process is different for everyone, and what works for me, may not work for you.
Remember…
It’s easier to forgive and forget, than to forgive and learn.
The universe will test you, and try to make sure that you’ve actually healed before bringing you to your destiny. This is why healing is a constant, and can never be neglected.
Not everything in life is in our control. A couple years ago, I was so frustrated with things not going my way.
I applied to two programs at my graduate school, and I didn’t get into the one I really wanted to get into.
The thing is, if I had gotten into that program, I would not be writing this post, I wouldn’t have created the domain name, and I would be in a different place.
Everything happens for a reason, find the reason and you’ll begin to understand the lesson. Learn the lesson, and you’ll grow.
Blessings,
With love and light,
Stay true stay weird.
~~ Kristina