We’ve all heard of this concept. It goes hand in hand with self love and self discovery. In this post, I’m discussing self worth.
What happens when we go through life and fall into patterns that take away our self worth?
It lands us right here, reading a post on self worth.
How do you get self worth back?
There is no simple way to get your self worth back. It takes time. Throughout my journey, I have noticed some steps that helped me to redefine my self worth.
Step 1: Learn from the past
I’ve written about my mental health journey, and what I’ve been through.
While writing helps me cope with anxiety, it also helped me to see the past as lessons to take from the situations that hurt my self worth.
It also remains true that behaviour is habits, patterns and repeated thoughts.
In order to change your self worth, it is necessary to become aware of the negative patterns currently in your life.
One of the most repeated phrases in personal development is;
Change your thoughts change your life
The way I say it is;
Change your actions change your life
Change your perspective change yourself.
Simply put, change is the only constant in life.
This means, if we fear change, our life will stay the same.
But, if we embrace it, we can create our future.
Step 2: Think long term, not short term
When I was struggling really badly with borderline, I thought every argument was the end of the world.
Even recently, a situation made me feel so unwanted that I avoided it at all costs.
Reminding myself that it’s not a true belief. That my mind is trying to pull me back into the dimension of self sabotage, helped me to overcome that anxiety.
It also helps me to talk through the anxiety with people I trust.
Not everyone can handle someone else’s anxiety, or panic attack, but reaching out to a trusted friend, or family member helps me.
Back to the point!
The little things that cause distress are one moment within your life.
This situation won’t affect me in two months.
I probably will look back and laugh at myself in two years!
Sometimes it’s easy to get stuck in the moment especially when the future seems foggy.
If your future seems foggy, there’s something else in the mix, other than self worth.
Maybe it’s time to acknowledge the dimension of your future self, and create an image of who you want to become in 5 years.
Step 3: If you don’t start creating your future now, you’ll be in the same place next year.
Self worth and self love are similar dimensions.
Having a strong self love, makes your self worth stronger.
Recognizing what is making you feel unworthy, and taking steps to change that. It could be a situation:
Boyfriend, work, friend group, living situation
Or a habit: smoking, weed, drugs, self talk, casual sex
Or even past trauma.
Only you can acknowledge it, and release it, then begin taking baby steps to change it.
Healing is not sunshine and rainbows.
Its more like crying into your pillow and screaming to your dog
why do I feel like this
why does this keep happening to me?
Honey, it’s because you haven’t learned from the past, acknowledged your future and taken the plunge into personal development!
Step 4: Be Selfish!
Don’t be so selfish that you push good people and opportunities away.
Be selfish in the sense of putting yourself first.
Feel better with nice nails? GIRL, go get your nails done!
Feel better after a workout? Head to the gym.
The thing to remember is to not give up on your self worth discovery plan.
Everyday is different, but habits take 21 days to stick.
Make a plan, make some small changes, implement them, and bask in the tiny changes as they come with time.
Remember…
Baby steps are still steps!
Anything you change that gives you a feeling of self worth, or self love, now, is a good change.
My advice is, if there are toxic people in your life, DITCH THEM and don’t look back.