Recap:
“Katie? What’s wrong?”
Oh, it’s just you.
Why are you following me?
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“After 5 years, all I can think about is you” Harvey said candidly.
Five years ago, I was a different person.
What we thought was love, was actually a toxic relationship.
I won’t go back.
Just because I convinced myself of the rightness of our relationship does not mean my mind was in a logical place.
Your mind can convince you of whatever you want to be convinced of.
“Why are you here Harvey?” I ask in a snarky tone.
“You’re the best thing that ever happened to me. I don’t regret much in my life, but losing you is the thing I regret the most. I took you for granted and never loved you back. It has not been an easy realization, nor is it an easy conversation.”
Wow, I dreamed about this moment for two years, I let it go after the third year because, I needed, to move on.
What do you say when this happens?
What could I say?
I froze.
Playing back memories of all the times he let me down.
The empty promises of a life together, the I love you with no response but that’s sweet.
Why would I ever take him back?
Out of the blue, I felt my mouth open, and the part of me who needed love started talking.
I missed you too.
With those words said, he gave me a hug.
I wasn’t able to hug back, but the smell of his cologne and the touch of his gentle embrace wrapped me in a sense of longing, of memories, and I gave in.
After a moment, I pushed out of the hug.
Are you free tonight? I got my own place, not too far from here
Already I could sense the pattern.
Why don’t we go out for coffee and talk instead? I asked him gently.
Sure, I mean, if that’s what you wanna do.
His tone, so clearly opposed to this idea, I knew exactly what he wanted from me.
As we started walking, I remembered my dream, the man in the dream.
Everything Harvey was saying went fuzzy.
“Katie, Katie, are you listening to me? what are you thinking about?”
Oh, nothing, just a dream I had.
“Oh yeah? Some sex dream or somethin eh?”
I laughed in my head, he was making a joke, but didn’t know how on point he was.
I smiled shyly.
Was it about me?
I laughed, out loud this time.
Now that’s a dream you’d dream about, I said playfully.
The truth is, I don’t know if it was or not.
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Want to know what happens next?
Tune in next Wednesday for Chapter 4!
With light and love,
Blessings,
Stay true stay weird.
~~ Kristina