I attended a training conference over the weekend that changed me. You know who Tony Robbins is, picture 7 speakers each with the power of 3 of him.
I’m a new person. Stronger, happier, even more loving!!
Today I want to write about the values of successful people.
First, what does Value mean?
If you google “value definition” the dictionary will tell you it has multiple meanings, and various linguistic forms.
val·ue/ˈvalyo͞o
noun:
1. the regard that something is held to deserve; the importance, worth, or usefulness of something.”your support is of great value”
2. a person’s principles or standards of behavior; one’s judgment of what is important in life.”they internalize their parents’ rules and values”
verb
1. estimate the monetary worth of (something).”his estate was valued at $45,000″
2. consider (someone or something) to be important or beneficial; have a high opinion of.”she had come to value her privacy and independence”
from google search of “value definition”
So what does this really mean? I find it easy to comprehend on an academic what value is, but what about in real life?
Values are the things you live by doing everyday without thinking about it.
What do you mean Kristina? That’s just more confusing!!
Yup, but think about it, are you loving to everyone around you? Do you constantly push love outside you without every thinking about being loving?
If you are able to say, yes I do push love onto everyone around me, then GOOD FOR YOU!!!!
I believe that love is the most important value to have, but it sits higher on my list than these values I’m writing about.
It sits at the top of my life, mainly because I have had the hardest time finding love, so my goal is to PUSH IT as hard as I can toward everyone around me, and more importantly toward myself.
Second, what is a successful person?
Defining what you’re discussing is the first step of doing philosophy.
Before I list off the values of successful people, I need to define what I think makes a person successful and who is successful in life versus in money making.
I feel I need to make this distinction because society conditions us to believe that you aren’t successful if you don’t make a lot of money and live in luxury.
I have a dissenting opinion, as usual!
Here is my pattern of reasoning;
- Success is not something that you get, it’s something you maintain.
- If a person is successful, then they will maintain their success.
- If success is maintained then a person will believe they are successful.
- Therefore, a person’s belief in their success and their maintenance of success are creating the belief that they are a successful person.
Belief is interesting here because if the person doesn’t believe in their success, it will be harder for them to maintain their success.
This belief in their success goes hand in hand with what I believe are the values successful people have.
1. Loyalty
As number one, a successful person is loyal. Loyal to those around them, their word, their mission, and their purpose.
I feel this way about my soccer team. I’ve played every single game since July when I joined the team as a sub.
Some days I played as a sub or was able to sub off, and didn’t put in my full force.
Other days I dreaded playing the whole game, but loved the feeling of accomplishment that came after playing the whole game.
Being loyal isn’t about being around all the time, it’s about the follow through.
It’s about showing up after 3 hours of sleep and wanting nothing more to crawl into bed, but doing what you need to in spite of your physical needs.
2. Gratitude
Yes, there are studies being done on what gratitude does to the brain. They have concluded that being grateful rewires the brain to be happier.
The second value of successful people is being grateful for everything they have accomplished, been through, learned, and humble enough to keep working on their goals.
As a value for me, gratitude goes with faith.
When I say thank you to God for putting me in the life I have, I feel more capable.
In fact, God guides me everywhere I go, and sometimes I forget to acknowledge that HE has a path for me.
In university, I would go to a Christian group and listen to this incredibly attractive residence fellow play guitar and sing worship songs.
My friends would make fun of me, so I’d use the attractiveness of this man to convince them that I don’t actually believe in this.
Ok, writing that made me cringe. Don’t ever hide your true self from your “friends” if they are your friends, they’ll like you either way.
3. Kindness
Kindness is magic. Kindness is necessary. Kindness is love.
Embodying the value of kindness is necessary for a successful person to maintain their success.
We know this about companies that absorb the world’s wealth and hoard it for themselves.
We see the lack of kindness when the Rainforest burns and the wealthy don’t even blink.
Some do. Other’s ignore it and wonder why other people were so inconsiderate.
One of my friends said something incredibly powerful to me over the weekend;
I find when you’re nice, people are nice back
This made me think about people I have known who didn’t have the nicest approach to me or other people, and it made me softer.
It’s easier to be mean and harsh than it is to be kind, but as those who are pushing to create and make their mark will tell you;
Anything worth having won’t be easy to achieve
When you’re kind to others, and especially to yourself, maintaining success in your life is easier to achieve through the value of kindness.
4. Empathy
To me, empathy is not a value but a part of my being.
As an empath and a reiki master, I can understand and empathize more than the average person.
I have been through depression, anxiety, and social exclusion, so I tend to relate better with people who have been through these experiences or have been there for others who have experienced these feelings.
This does not mean that I am better at empathizing.
Empathy is a skill, it is taught. In fact, a google search of “empathy definition” defines it as;
the ability to understand and share the feelings of another
google search of “empathy definition”
This definition makes me think of an empath who can feel the emotions of others.
At the same time, it is a skill because sharing the feelings of someone else and understanding them can be done through our personal experiences.
5. Understanding and Acceptance
Having understanding and acceptance as values for yourself and toward others allows a person to be more successful because they can be understanding when something doesn’t go right. Then, accept that there is something better coming for them, or there is a reason for this happening.
Being able to see a bigger understanding of negative experiences, while also accepting what life throws at you, is hard to achieve, but invaluable when practiced everyday.
These are values of successful people because they are able to lead a person to the next value.
More kindness
More self-awareness
More acceptance of others
Acceptance of yourself
6. Self-awareness and a growth mindset
If you can’t tell, self-awareness is my favourite topic. I first learned about it through philosophy and fell in love with the concept because it goes beyond being consciously aware.
As a combination, self-awareness and growth mindset will be the foundation of success for anyone.
If you are willing to work on yourself, change something that isn’t working and put awareness on the not-so-nice aspects of your life, then modifying what isn’t working comes easier and success is more maintainable.
The ability to acknowledge what dimensions of yourself need to be modified is a skill as well.
Self awareness is not something that comes easily in this society.
In school, having your own opinion and a different perspective isn’t valued until post-secondary school or even graduate level school.
It’s like the longer you’ve been in school for, gives you the experience to finally say I have this opinion and I want to put it into action.
Embodying self-awareness and a growth mindset is hard to do.
Journaling is my favorite way to practice self awareness.
I started journaling when I was young and would get into situations that put my emotions so high I needed an outlet for them.
Then I found philosophy, and started to self reflect, and bring daily self awareness.
7. Sharing as caring
I’m the kind of person who wants to tell my friends about the oddest little stories.
Stories are my favourite, I’ve always been the friend with really good stories!
One of my dearest friends and I spent a couple years carpooling from Toronto to Ottawa, and during the five hour car ride, I would entertain her with stories of my life.
This is one of my fondest memories.
It’s just sharing my life and showing her that caring about her means sharing with her!
Whenever I see a job ad, or some video on YouTube that I know my friend will like, or I know relates to something they like, I will share it with them.
These values are maintaining success by maintaining relationships!
We are taught in kindergarten that sharing is caring.
Boundaries are important when sharing, because not everyone will want to know the funny thing your boyfriend does to you in bed, but he will!
Self-awareness is tied to sharing as caring.
Noticing when sharing too much crosses a boundary is necessary for maintaining success.
8. Forgiveness
Jesus practiced forgiveness.
A lot of great people are successful because they value forgiveness.
Forgiveness of yourself when you act wrongly.
Forgiveness of others for when they wrong you.
Forgiveness toward those who think differently or who have left an impact on history and the world we live in now.
Forgiveness is inspiring.
It takes immense strength, understanding, acceptance, self-awareness, kindness, empathy, gratitude, and loyalty to forgive yourself and others.
Successful people maintain success in their daily practices by being able to forgive themselves when they aren’t at 100% everyday.
It’s impossible to reach perfection, and forgiveness is necessary when we are taught to seek perfection.
Embodying the value of forgiveness means embodying all the other values and then forgiving yourself for the past, and thanking yourself for being here now.
Remember…
Being successful is not about what you’re doing or how many things you are doing.
It means doing something that fills you with purpose, joy, and inspiration.
These values come from my heart and my passion about writing, changing lives, and education.
I value many things, but these are the pillars I strive everyday to embody in my life.
Everything in life takes practice, whether you have natural talent or not.
I have become a better writer, person, thinker, learner, and friend by writing about personal development.
Even by focusing on something that fuels my passion and lights a fire in my soul makes me happier, and helps me maintain these values everyday.
To conclude this post, I hope that these values are already in your life in some form.
It is also important to bring people in your life who have these values as well, otherwise embodying them gets difficult.
With light and love,
Blessings!
Stay true stay weird.
~~ Kristina